


Mom Jokes

by StrawhatsAndDelibirds



Category: One Piece
Genre: Moths
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-08
Updated: 2015-12-08
Packaged: 2018-05-05 14:44:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5378966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StrawhatsAndDelibirds/pseuds/StrawhatsAndDelibirds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>based on this comic: http://askdadan.tumblr.com/post/132119959066/akogarezephyr-mother-humour-dadan-edition-1</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mom Jokes

She never asked for this. She never asked for any of this. But none the less, she was stuck raising not one, but three snot nosed brats. It was bad enough when Garp had dropped off one of them ten years ago and she was stuck raising a baby, but then she had a seven year old dropped into her care without any regard for how much of a monster and terror in general he was. It should have been obvious that bandits were not fit to raise children, but that didn’t stop that thick headed old man. Lord knows nothing would have stopped him.

Actually the only thing more thick headed than him had to be the brats he had left in her care. They were a lost cause and there was no hope of fixing them. They were so young, yet she knew that there was no point. They were somehow already worse than Garp. And dealing with them was just exhausting.

And then they brought home another one.

How what she was doing was enough to warrant this kind of punishment? She was just a simple mountain bandit trying to live a simple life. All she wanted was to simply have her boy’s ransack merchants who went into her territory, and maybe run a good portion of the businesses in Edge Town behind the scenes. That was all she wanted to do. But now she had to raise three little snot nosed brats who couldn’t follow directions even when their life depended on it. And somehow she was supposed to fix these problems and turn them into model marines.

That was already out of the question, so right now the best that she could manage was breathing and only minor injuries. Garp would have to just deal with that because in all honesty, getting those boys to do anything that would result in them learning any discipline made herding fucking cats look like a simple task.

She looked out the window and sighed. No doubt Garp wouldn’t be happy when he came over, especially every second word out of one of the brat’s mouth was how he was going to be a pirate, and that was very much so not what a model marine would say. And then that would just get the other two to start talking about their plans to go out into the world and terrorize everyone for the sake of being not just any pirates, but the King of the Pirates of all things.

Good lord was she tired just thinking about dealing those brats. She couldn’t even manage to get them to do even the most basic of chores. Not even Garp could manage to get them to listen and he was probably the only person out there that could beat some sense into those little monsters. They just took their lumps and made her take hers because they were such a lost cause.

Though looking out the window, she saw something that was of interest. It was something that not even those snot nosed brats could ignore this. A sly smile crossed her lips as she thought of exactly how this was going to play out. Either way, this was going to be very very good for her either way, because their reactions were going to be perfect.

“OI! BRATS! GET YOUR ASSES OVER HERE!” She yelled, knowing that she’d only get their attention if she feigned that they were in trouble. Why this worked was beyond her, because those little shits didn’t care if she attempted to punish them or not. They were going to do as they pleased either way, so what she had to say didn’t matter. They were probably just coming over to laugh at her for thinking that she even thought that she could punish them.

But even if they didn’t care about any attempted punishment, they stopped harassing the bandits in the main area of the hut and came over. They looked more annoyed than anything, because no doubt whatever horrible thing those little gremlins were doing was more important than what she had to call them over for.

“What do you want. Can’t you see we’re busy?” Ace asked as he was the most confrontational of the three. Sabo seemed indifferent, and Luffy was so uninvested that he had a finger lodged in his nose and was looking off into space. And these brats were the ones she was supposed to mold into marines. That really seemed like something that was at all possible

“Walk.” She order, giving them a shove towards the door. There were grumbles of displeasure as they reluctantly were pushed outside and to the spot she had seen out the window. They seemed too busy bickering about who’s fault this was, and shoving each other to care as she pushed them outside. She didn’t even care at this point what they were talking about because she was too tired to deal with such nonsense and being drug in would only be her pissing away time that she could be spending doing something more worth her time than argue with children.

Once they were out there, their eyes settled on the thing that she had set out to show them, and they all shut up. Well, all with the exception of Luffy, who never shut up. Instead he chose to make a quiet but squeaky sound of excitement as he eyed the thing in front of them.

It was a moth. But not just any every day moth. That wasn’t worth the effort that it takes to get these ingrates to do anything. No this moth was massive. Its wings extended way beyond the tree it had been resting on, the antennas had to be at least as long as one of her fingers, if not also as wide as one. Every detail on this beast of a bug was easy to see as its sheer size magnified each detail on the thing.

“Look at that behe _moth_.” She said, putting extra emphasis on her joke as to make sure it got across. She glanced down at the three brats before her. She watched as the gears clicked in two of their heads.

Meanwhile it was clear that the only thought that was in her youngest’s head was just a nonstop repetition of the word moth. He made that clear by his immediate response with an excited “Yeah yeah!”

But once the joke clicked in the other two’s heads, she was met by two different reactions that were actually pretty predictable at this point. She wasn’t sure if that was a comment on how well she knew the brats, or how predictable the brats were. It was probably both, but there was some satisfaction that came with guessing the results right.

Sabo, being the older brother who wasn’t a complete asshole and standoffish at every chance he got, naturally laughed a bit at the pun. Clearly this was one brat that she could still mold into somewhat of a presentable person. Or at least make a fine bandit out of, as he clearly had some taste.

Ace, being the older brother who seemed to have made it his life’s goal to never smile unless he was fucking you over in some way and causing you mass amounts of inconvenience, groaned at the joke. It wasn’t surprising, because none of her belongings were going ruined in the process and it wasn’t anything that was going to earn her a beating from Garp for doing.

Lastly, even Luffy’s reaction made sense. The world could be ending and Luffy wouldn’t notice if something that he had dubbed to be cool had caught his attention. So now as he looked over at his brothers completely baffled as to what was happening. He wasn’t going to get an answer. At least not for a while anyways.

She’d walk off and leave the boys to fight among each other like she knew they were going to. They were monsters and that seemed to be the only way they knew how to settle disputes between the three of them. She’d just let them do their thing, because no one got seriously injured and they were outside so nothing would get broken. Or at least the odds were a lot lower.

But for now she’d bask in the glow of a successful joke. Because damn, did it feel good to be a mom.


End file.
